Weak By You
by 123456forever
Summary: House makes promises that he might not be able to keep. Angst. Drama. Flashbacks. All Huddy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any part of _House MD _and in no way profit from the writing of this Fic. No copyright infringement intended.

**Pairing: **All Huddy!

**Time period (for the beginning): **This fic is set sometime post episode 2x23, "Who's Your Daddy?"

Cuddy stood in the doorway of her house. Her eyes locked with the intense blue eyes of the man before her.

She took in a quick breath that stung her lungs.

"House," Her voice shook slightly as she struggled not to weaken by his presence.

She was entirely oblivious to the ice-cold air that blew in from the now wide open door.

He took a step forward, farther into her house, and closer to her.

Her heart pounded furiously, and everything that wasn't part of his face suddenly became a blur.

His eyes didn't move from their hold on her's.

She looked down and felt herself tremble slightly as she filled her lungs with enough oxygen to speak.

"House," She spit out his name again, taking a small step back, cautious. "Why are you here?" Her voice wasn't as demanding as she hoped it would be. It was muted by the screaming voices in the back of her head, the voices that were screeching something very close to excitement. But they were thoughts that would _stay _in her head.

House looked down quickly. A flash of emotion flickered across his face.

Cuddy bit down on her lower lip as she struggled to interpret the expression he wore.

He looked back up at her. His eyes tracing over the features on her face and then the thick dark curls that framed it.

" I , " He began to speak but the words he had planed to say caught in his throat.

Cuddy starred back at him, waiting for his explanation. Uncomfortable. Why was he looking at her that way?

He took another step forward but this time Cuddy kept her feet planted in place. She found, to her surprise, that she didn't _want _to move. She could almost hear his heartbeat now as he stood in front of her. His breathing was heavy. His lips parted as he spoke further.

"I want..."

He stopped. His eyes flickered with what was clearly uncertainty for just a moment.

Then he spoke the words that the chorus of voices in the back of Cuddy's head had been willing him to say.

"I want to be the donor."

Cuddy's mouth dropped slightly. Her eyes wide. She blinked. Her heart lurched in her chest, a part of her wishing she had in fact heard him correctly, but it wasn't possible.

She must've stopped breathing and hallucinated. Quite possible.

She starred into his ice blue eyes, feeling her knees grow weak. Unable to gather her usual strength.

Cuddy felt the need to breathe in more oxygen but found that her lungs refused to budge. She felt her chest tighten until she finally was able to take a long shaking breath.

"You what?" She choked out the word that sounded like they came from a small child, far away.

House looked down at the floor and tapped his cane against the wood panels. The rhythm of _thuds_ echoed in her head.

"Only if it would... if you need..." He paused, looked up at her again. Then decided to change his wording, _"-want... _only if you... want me to."

She hadn't heard any of that, too focused on what he had said before.

She shivered, now aware of the wind from outside.

The two doctors were now standing so close together, Cuddy could feel the warmth of his body in front of her. A small smile lit up her face, touching her eyes.

House noticed. He loved it when she smiled like that, he hadn't seen her look genuinely happy in a long time... and when she _was_ happy it seemed that he almost always had the _opposite _affect on her moods no matter what he did.

However, this was one of those rare occasions when House saw Cuddy in a different light, away from their usual bantering at work. She wasn't angry or annoyed with him now. She seemed...

House felt his eyes close instantly as he felt the press of lips against his.

He pulled her closer to his chest as he wrapped his free hand behind the small of her back. Her hands tangled around his neck. He opened his eyes to look down at her now.

Almost as quickly as this spontaneous kiss began, it broke apart. Cuddy pulled her head from his and looked up into his eyes. She looked apologetic. Her lips formed as if she was about to speak, but she said nothing. She still clung to the back of his neck, but slowly brought her hands down, sliding the tips of her fingers over his t-shirt.

"House." She breathed. "It's late, and ... and you should go."

House gave a slight unwilling nod and turned around to face the door. Cuddy was surprised. She hadn't expected him to agree to leave so quickly, and she wasn't sure she wanted him to now. She suddenly felt very small as she watched the man before her turn and grab the handle of her front door. Her heart raced.

"Goodnight, Cuddy." He spoke without even turning to look at her. But his voice was deep and comforting. She didn't want him to leave. She didn't expect him to go without putting up a fight, and it came as a surprise to her. A surprise different than his declaration earlier, a surprise she was not excited for.

She heard the click of the door and was instantly trapped in a storm of emotions. She knew she should feel excited about what he had announced to her earlier, he _wanted _to donate. But something about the way he had left was so unexpected it left her confused and... lost. The way he didn't even turn around, or in the least make some perverse comment about her choice of pajamas, or the fact that she had spontaneously kissed him... the reason for that she wasn't quite sure of herself. She knew she should feel better than this, but something wasn't right, and she could tell by the way he had exited. What she was absolutely sure of, though, was one thing, she wanted him there with her, and she wanted more.

"Goodnight, House." It was merely a whisper to the closed door before her.

**Please, click that little button and review this! It would be greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own House MD and in no way profit from writing this fan fic!

That night as House lay in bed, reflecting, (something that he often did, but in secrecy), on the day's events, or rather the events that had occurred just an hour before, at Cuddy's. He thought about what he had told her, and her response, a very strange one. If anything he expected her to reject his offer and remind him of his idiocy, but instead she had rewarded him with physical contact. That had been unexpected! House lay back, his head resting on his pillow, a smile on his face, and fell into a dream filled slumber:

_He sat slumped back against his couch while sharp pain ripped through his leg. _

_"God!" He yelled in agony as he reached for his favorite bottle of pills._

_"Shhhh..." A soothing voice came from nearby._

_Suddenly a warm hand was over his. Her fingers prying his from around the orange bottle._

_"Greg..." she whispered his name in his ear._

_House looked up at the woman who had suddenly appeared next to him on the couch._

_"You sure you need that pill?" her voice was mysterious and calming._

_House opened his mouth to protest but a finger traced his lips before he got the chance._

_"Because I think," the brunette continued, running her lips over his, "You...don't need it..."_

_He felt a hand now massaging his thigh. He let out a quiet moan. She pressed her hand against his leg until the pain began to somehow subside. Then the woman leaned over his body, letting her dark brown hair conceal her face. "Now, Greg." she smiled as her azure eyes burned into his icy eyes. "All better?" Her arms wrapped around his body pushing him so he fell back against the couch cushions. She lay against his chest until he couldn't tell the difference between his heartbeat, and Cuddy's._

House woke then, still the middle of the night, with a jolt of pain screaming up his leg. He grabbed at his thigh while simultaneously popping a pill out from his nightstand. He paused for only a second, nearly smiling, remembering his strange dream about Cuddy, before dry swallowing the Vicodin.

Cuddy, meanwhile, had gotten into her bed at home. Her mind racing with confused and strange emotions, ones she hadn't planned for. The emotions that translated to how she felt about House were those that confused her the most. She really wasn't sure if the kiss was out of some strange and unimportant impulse, or if she had actual emotional connections. She let her eyes close, hoping her anxious thoughts would soon subside so she could get some rest. Her memory of that moment became hazy as a fog of sleep consumed her, but while that was momentarily pushed from her conscious mind, an old memory she had hoped was long gone returned to her that night:

_She stood in the presence of a young, tall, handsome man in a dark room. The man was wearing a pair of old blue jeans and a t-shirt with the words "The Clash" on the front. He walked towards her until their faces were almost touching. He reached his hands up to her face and tucked a dark curl behind her ear. Then he looked into her eyes, keeping one hand on her cheek. He had the most amazing eyes she had ever seen. Bright orbs of cold, shimmering blue. He locked those eyes with hers and didn't look away. "I love you." He swore to her. Their lips pressed together for a long moment until he pulled away from her. She starred up at him wistfully, but he looked down. "And," He continued, "I love __**you**__ too." He ran his hand over her stomach, feeling the slight kicks of a baby, before he turned from her and disappeared down a long corridor without saying another word._

_"I love you too, Greg..." she mumbled._

_She thought she heard the click of a door shutting in the distance. _

_She held one hand to her cheek and the other over her stomach._

_Suddenly a young Lisa Cuddy realized she was in the hallway outside of a dorm room, at graduate school. "...Dr. Gregory House." she whispered silently._

Cuddy opened her eyes. She was angry with herself for letting that forbidden memory return, but surprised at how vivid the images still were. She didn't want to remember that night, or those nine months. Silent tears ran down her face. She was angry at House too, but then of course, he had been Greg then. A different Greg. She was angry he had changed. _People never change. _A voice in her head reminded her. Though she swore he had. If he hadn't changed, then he would still love her. And she knew that that Dr. Gregory House didn't love her anymore.

**Reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading this little fic of mine :) I should be updating more soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of _House MD _and in no way profit from the writing of this fan fic. Neither do I own or profit from the lyrics of the song "Almost Lover" By A Fine Frenzy.

**Inspiration: **The idea for most of what occurs in this chapter came to me while watching "Dark Knight", but has absolutely nothing to do with the movie, I just space out a lot thinking about House and Cuddy! Lol. (It's a great movie btw).

**Previously in "Weak By You":** _Cuddy opened her eyes. She was angry with herself for letting that forbidden memory return, but surprised at how vivid the images still were._

**We walked along a crowded street **

**You took my hand and danced with me**

 **Images **

**And when you left, you kissed my lips**

 **You told me you would never, never forget  **

**These images**

**No**

**Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy **

**I thought you'd want the same for me...**

When she woke up the next morning Cuddy's mind instantly began nagging her about where her thoughts had ended up before she had finally fallen asleep, thinking about House. Thinking about the past. But she instantly shoved all of that aside as she took a quick shower and got ready to be at the hospital early to fill out the load of paperwork still on her desk from the night before.

She popped two slices of bread into the toaster and made herself some tea, trying her best not to dwell on _anything _related to House. But this was harder than she had planned.

_I want to donate. _

His words from the night before echoed in the back of her mind, reminding her...

_as if_ she could possibly forget them!

...

House sat on his couch watching a tivo-ed episode of "General Hospital" while muttering to himself, with his own audio commentary, through every scene. When the episode ended he clicked off the TV and sat smiling at the black screen. He was no longer thinking about the characters on his favorite show, he was thinking about Cuddy.

...

When House got to the hospital he was met by the angry glare that could only belong to Dr. Lisa Cuddy.

"You were supposed to show up for a meeting with the board over an hour ago." She informed him.

House shrugged, and looked down at his watch, false surprise on his face as he mouthed an "ooh!"

Cuddy continued to glare at him "And, you now have a case." She shoved a chart against his t-shirt and held it there, "Whether you like it or not."

House brought his hand up and took the chart.

Cuddy then clicked off down the hallway and into her office, leaving House with a smirk as he stared after her.

...

Cuddy sat behind the desk in her office, pen in hand, leaning over the stack of paperwork and forms she had to sign for the hospital.

She moved the stack to the edge of her desk and took in a deep breath. There was something she had been meaning to do since last night.

She stood up and went over to the file cabinet nearby. Tugging at the bottom drawer she slid it open and rummaged around inside until she found what a part of her had hoped wouldn't be there.

Cuddy pulled the long-left-untouched photo album out of the drawer and brought it to her desk.

With her hand shaking slightly she lifted the cover.

Her heart dropped as a photo fell out and onto the surface of her desk.

Cuddy found that she was suddenly lost in the image, and with a shiver she remembered the exact night, the exact moment the photo had been taken.

She looked down, with an uneasy feeling in her gut, at the attractive, young, smiling couple.

The woman had a youthful face that lit up and shining brown hair that fell around her shoulders. She had a straw from a drink between her teeth and was sucking the beverage through it while looking up at the camera. A pair of huge bright pink sunglasses, rested at a funny angle on her face, shading her eyes.

The man next to her was stunningly handsome, with amazing blue eyes that, even in the dark lighting of the party, shone like ice.

He was holding the glass that she drank from, next to her, with his other arm wrapped around her back holding her up. He had a huge smile on his face, but he wasn't directing it at the camera, instead his attention was completely captivated by the girl he was holding.

As much as she knew she needed to, Cuddy couldn't pull her eyes away from the photo, the photo that brought back too many memories.

She needed to close the book, put it away, and never look at it again. It hurt too much to see it.

But instead of doing what she knew she should, Cuddy let herself return to that night...

_She remembered how it had felt when he had wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "What do you say we leave this party?" And then how he had dragged her with him, as she giggled, through the crowd of people._

_She remembered her friends calling after her "Have fun, Lisa!" and then laughing quietly, watching her stumble away in a fit of giggles._

_She remembered how he had guided her with one hand in hers and the other against her back._

_She remembered how suddenly the music around her had disappeared as she found herself in the hallway now, outside of her dorm room._

_She remembered how she suddenly felt the wall against her back, and her lips against his._

_She remembered twisting her free arm around to open the door of her dorm as he ran his kisses down her neck, laughing in between breaths. She felt his hand slide down her back, making her shiver._

_With one hand around the doorknob she remembered how..._

The door flung open causing her to jump, unwillingly, from the daydream. Her eyes shot up, away from the tiny picture and looked up at the man in front of her desk.

"Hey there Cuddle Muffin!" he smirked.

"What do you want?" She demanded bitterly, shoving the picture into her desk drawer. "And how's the patient?"

"Lupus. Was discharged an hour ago. How do you feel about signing these for me?" House tossed a little stack of papers at the desk.

"What are they?" Cuddy inquired suspiciously.

"Oh just a promise that you'll wear your 'special panties' tonight." House wiggled his eyebrows.

Cuddy shot him a look of disgust before scanning her eyes over the papers.

"No!"

"You won't?" House whined. But her exclamation had been out of disbelief.

"You made _more _patients hate you? Great for the hospital, House. You haven't been in the clinic for _an hour_ and already you have three people threatening to file lawsuits?"

"Don't worry, none of them were hot chicks. I didn't like 'em anyways."

Cuddy kept her eyes on the paper in her hand, but replied, "The board was already planning to suspend you, and this isn't going to change their minds!"

"That's why I need you to sign them!" House shot back, with an edge of annoyance.

Cuddy sighed a loud, exasperated sigh as she stood up from her chair, keeping both hands planted on her desk.

"I can't keep picking you up off your ass just to have you falling back down again!"

She then moved around to the front of her desk, facing him.

"House you're not doing yourself or the hospital any favors by..." She stood in front of him now, pausing for just a second, searching for the right words.

Her breathing stopped short for only a moment.

She usually had to stop herself from saying too much to House when she was angry with him, but now she couldn't find the right words to speak at all. For a brief moment she forgot why she was even mad at him.

But that didn't last long.

"By being an arrogant jerk to everyone in this hospital! Usually people let that go when you save their lives!" She took a quick breath before continuing, "But innocent people, who travel long ways just to get to this damn hospital, just to make sure their coughs aren't too serious, how in the world do you find a way to make _them _want to sue us?"

House looked down at her.

"Usually I flirt with some grandpa's wife, and that makes him a little ticked off, and then - "

Cuddy threw her hand up, "I don't care! I don't care how you do it, but you need to stop making these people hate you after spending five minutes in the same room as you!" Cuddy thought about that for a moment, "...Or at least not sue us."

House smirked.

"Seriously, House the board can vote to suspend you." She was back at her desk signing the forms now. "And you better not come to me complaining about it." She handed him the now signed papers.

House opened his mouth to add something, but she cut him off.

"And no, this doesn't mean you're off clinic duty for the week."

When House left her office Cuddy was about to return to her other paperwork, but before she did she pulled open her desk drawer and retrieved the picture.

Flipping it over in her hands she caught site of something sprawled on the back in red Sharpie ink.

_**To Lisa, **_

_**Thanks for making me smile.**_

_**Love, Greg 1987**_

…

**Goodbye, my almost lover **

**Goodbye, my hopeless dream**

 **I'm trying not to think about you **

**Can't you just let me be?**

…

**Thanks again for reading this! Reviews are always appreciated, as is constructive criticism. I plan to update more in the next few days. :) So thanks for reading guys! **


	4. Chapter 4

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of _House MD _and in no way profit from the writing of this fan fic.

**About this chapter: **This chapter follows up a little bit on the photograph Cuddy had been looking at, and adds some dialogue between House and Cuddy! Yay! The chapters following this will be focused more on the fact that Cuddy will be pregnant, with some unexpected events!

House sat alone in the dark shadows of his office. He cradled the red and gray tennis ball in his hands.

Slowly he tossed it back and forth, without taking his eyes off of it once.

It was after hours.

There was no case to solve.

There was no autopsy to perform.

House was merely an unimportant outline against the wall, undiscovered, alone, lost in thoughts that no one else could hear.

There was nothing left in the hospital for him to stay for, nothing at home either, but for some reason House remained seated in his office, silently suffering from the constant, burning pain in his leg.

He looked up only when he heard the slow, persistent echo of clicking heels against the linoleum floor.

The door to his office opened tentatively, and she appeared, suddenly, in the middle of the room.

"Why are you still here?" Cuddy's question was out of curiosity, not annoyance.

The room was silent for a brief, lingering moment, only to be interrupted by the sarcastic remark of the diagnostician.

"My TV broke, and 'coma-guy' doesn't have cable so I've settled for downloading --"

"Why are you really here?" She cut him off, "You don't have a case."

"I know."

"So..." Cuddy came around his desk and sat down on the surface of it. "Then what's up?"

House held the tennis ball in his left hand, and then set it down on the desk.

The room was once again filled with the throbbing rhythm of complete silence.

"I'm sorry." He announced in a monotone, redirecting the conversation.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. Cuddy couldn't remember the last time she had heard House say that to her, or to anyone. Why he had, so suddenly, was unclear.

"For what?" She choked in a small voice.

He inhaled quietly, "The photo album," He began. "You had it out, this morning."

She nodded hesitantly.

"You were crying, before I came in." He reminded her.

Her cheeks flushed. "No, I - "

"So," House cut her off, searching her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Cuddy could feel her face burn. She hadn't been aware of the fact that she had been _crying. _Her throat tightened around the words she planned to say, strangling them inside of her.

"Oh." She managed to breathe. "Yeah."

She bit her lower lip anxiously, hoping House didn't know what _exactly _it was she had been looking at. She felt pathetic, but hoped her face didn't give it away.

House nodded awkwardly. "Yeah."

Cuddy stood up to leave. Embarrassed. She didn't want to think about the past any longer. But everything about the man in the room with her now, was reminding her of it.

"Wait."

She heard his voice command.

"What were you looking at?"

Cuddy was gripping the photo in her hand but had no intention of showing it to him. Her fingers were stiff from holding onto it, and she had forgotten it was even there.

She turned around cautiously, "Nothing."

It was a bitter word, and the way she delivered it offered no room for further questions.

She then rushed out of his office, her heart beating too fast for her own good.

House listened as the click of her heels became distant now, making their way to the elevators at a rapid pace.

He pushed himself, hastily, up from the chair, wincing at the knife of pain that sliced through his leg.

He grabbed for his cane and staggered to meet her before the doors closed.

"No." He declared. His cane forbade the doors to connect, "What was it?" He stood halfway inside the elevator, but still blocked the pathway necessary for it to close.

"That's none of your business, House. It was nothing. Nothing important. Now, I've been here long enough. And I'm going home."

She said every word with definition. There was a certain force behind each syllable that made it clear she didn't want him standing there.

She jabbed the 'close door' button again, but it was no use, he stepped inside the elevator and allowed the doors to shut before he spoke.

Cuddy could feel the anger thrust inside of her, threatening to shatter her composure. She _so_ should have taken the stairs.

"It _was _important." House contradicted.

Cuddy didn't respond to his comment, she chose only to react to the sound announcing their arrival at the parking garage.

She dashed from the elevator and bolted to her car in a swift direct movement, leaving House nearly stumbling over his feet after her.

"Go away."

She demanded acidly, without turning around or slowing her gate. "Go home."

"What was the picture of?" He pried.

She was at her car now, fumbling in her purse for the keys. Her hands were shaking, either from rage, or the fact that she felt painfully humiliated.

The keys emerged from her bag and she was unlocking the doors immediately.

"No. Go away." She repeated, giving each word the chance to sink in.

She had one hand on the door handle, prepared to rip open the door and hit the gas pedal the second she was landed behind the wheel. She was fed up with his constant interrogations and needed to get away.

Without warning, House gripped her wrist, causing her let out a small yelp, not of pain but of shock.

House yanked her toward him, twisted her away from the car to face him.

He burned his eyes into hers, but loosened his grip.

Cuddy swallowed hard, and tried to look away from his eyes, but she found it was a useless struggle, she couldn't.

She hated that he could control her like that.

House noticed the tiny piece of paper she had clenched between her fingers.

"Is that it?" His voice was low, calmer.

"Is it what? What ar-"

He took the photograph from her hand before she had the chance to comprehend was he was referring to.

The heart beating inside of her created a faint, distant, thudding that became more and more audible as she watched him study the photo.

For a second Cuddy forgot everything around her, it was just herself, House, and the past. Nothing else in the world interrupted her thoughts for a few terrifying seconds.

Her breathing became somewhat more erratic, and she ripped herself free of his hold, which was easier than she had planned for. But she remained standing in front of him, observing his reaction.

A small, distant smile appeared on his face.

"I remember that night." He muttered to himself, almost too quiet for her to hear.

Cuddy felt her heart come to a complete stop. She wanted more than anything to disappear. She had already relived the memory on her own, by herself, in her office, and now she had to right in front of him.

She let out a small sigh.

House removed his eyes from the photo.

"I miss that sometimes." He muttered, his voice barely a whisper.

He had caught her completely off guard with that one. She wasn't sure if he had even intended for her to hear it.

Cuddy opened her mouth, but the only word she could bring herself to say was,

"Goodnight."

She tumbled into the driver's seat. Slamming the door.

Her quivering hand shot the key into the ignition, and she took off, escaping the parking lot seconds later.

Her breath was uneven and hurried as she sped out of the lot and around the block, heading for her house.

She could feel moisture brimming at the edges of her eyelids, preparing to spill down her face. But she gulped in air from the open window and tried to regulate her beating heart.

...

House stood in the now empty parking space, leaning his weight against his cane and starring down at the tiny piece of paper, the tiny memory forever etched in their minds.

The memory that reminded both of them of everything that used to be, but wasn't anymore, and that could never be again.

He looked down at the photograph that captured every reason why he had loved her, and it reminded him of how much he still loved her.

And he knew it was all that, every memory of the past, everything he had done, that still hurt her today.

...

**Thank you, as always, for reading this chapter! Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated! The next chapters are mostly planned out, and there will be a little bit of a medical twist that is based on a true story, coming up! Hope you enjoyed my little fic so far, I'm still getting used to writing stories like this, but I'm getting more comfortable as I write. Thanks! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

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…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of _House MD _and in no way profit from the writing of this fan fic.

**Information about this chapter: **This is a little shorter than the chapters normally are. This chapter sets the stage for the chapter to come, which will deal with the medical twist I promised earlier. Lol. So, I hope you enjoy! :)

It was 6 months after that night of remembering the past.

And Cuddy was pregnant.

It was a time in her life she had been yearning to experience for years, and the emotions she felt included relief and unbearable excitement.

However, she also found herself under the stress of preparing for maternity leave, and she had to make sure she was leaving the hospital in good shape while she would be away. She refused, though, to leave work until the minute she had too, which meant she would stay until she had the baby, and wouldn't leave any earlier.

Her relationship with House, however, hadn't changed that drastically over the last few months.

He annoyed her constantly, refusing to do clinic duty, or write up reports. He cleverly found ways of avoiding important meetings, presentations, and fundraisers, and still made perverse comments about her appearance, although they were seemingly more frequent.

House found a secret pleasure in seeing Cuddy when she was angry. It was assurance that all her attention would be focused on him, which gave him all the time to focus on _her_.

So, this certainly didn't stop him from continuing to annoy her at every possible opportunity, just as he would have any other 9 months of her life.

However, there were times when he showed brief, flickering signs of a different side of himself, and these were moments Cuddy hadn't expected.

...

There was a continuous thudding against her front door and it wasn't helping her already throbbing headache at all.

She thrust herself out of her bed and tightened the strap of her robe around herself, making her way to the door.

She threw it open, already expecting the man on the other side.

"You do realize it's 2:00 in the morning, right?" She questioned with a sleep deprived expression.

"Yes." House stated, "But before you bite my head off, you should know, I come bearing ice cream." He held up a plastic bag containing three pints of fudge ice cream, and grinned.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but couldn't resist the urge to smile.

It was exactly what she had been craving the last few days, very unlike what she usually ate, but suddenly so delicious.

...

Cuddy was now on her sixth month of the pregancy, and she was feeling pretty good this morning, aside from the horrid cough in her chest that seemed to only get worse as the day went on.

She sat behind her desk checking over emails and making sure she would be prepared to leave in three months. That was going to be difficult, she sighed, her career was always on her mind and she was going to have to let that go for a while, and focus on the baby.

She then smiled at the thought, it _would _be a nice transition.

Her attention was torn from her computer screen as the telephone rang beside her.

"Hello?"

Cuddy listened to the voice on the other end of the phone, her eyebrows drew together in confusion. Then her eyes became wide with shock as she took in the news.

She responded with an "Oh my god! Ok, I will. Thank you."

She set then phone down in the cradle, and let out a long breath.

The door of her office opened that instant.

She immediately shrieked at the man in front of her.

"You _paralyzed_ the surgeon while he was in the middle of an operation!?" Her words screamed with panic.

This might be House she was talking to, but even for him it didn't make _any _sense.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that could have been? Or how much that's going to cost the hospital? The patient will sue, their family with sue us, the surgeon will quit, and then sue us! House, what the hell!"

"I saved the guy's life!"

"YOU INJECTED HIS SURGEON WITH A PARALYTIC!"

"He was in my way! That jerk won't move for anyone! ...And I'm pretty sure he was hallucinating too, he kept muttering something about a narcissistic bastard in the room."

Cuddy was stopped by the thundering cough that attacked her lungs suddenly.

"House!" She managed to squeak, now standing in front of her desk, "You're insane!"

House rolled his eyes and then announced, "And your water just broke."

"I'm not an idiot! I'm only 6 months pregnant! Now can we talk about the lawsuit we'll have to deal with?"

"Cuddy!"

There was a pause in the room for a brief moment.

"Shit."


	6. Chapter 6

…

…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of _House MD _and in no way profit from the writing of this fan fic.

**About this chapter: **Medical details in this chapter are based on, however, not holding _complete_ accuracy to, a true story.

**Previously in "Weak By You": **_House rolled his eyes and then announced, "And your water just broke." _

_"I'm not an idiot! I'm only 6 months pregnant! Now can we talk about the lawsuit we'll have to deal with?"_

_"Cuddy!" _

_There was a pause in the room for a brief moment._

_"Shit." _

...

**11:20am**

House was in his office anxiously thumping his cane against the carpet.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He stood up and limped across the room, contemplating whether or not to go downstairs. Wilson was there, he decided. Things were probably fine with Cuddy.

The call of a ringing cell phone screamed for his attention.

He reached up instantly to yank it off the desk.

Wilson.

"You should come down here." Wilson muttered in a distressed voice, "Really."

House glanced around the room and sharply nodded to himself, "Yeah."

He flicked the phone shut.

Wilson, meanwhile was attempting to help Cuddy.

She was shrieking and gripping the fabric of his tie in fists.

"Give me my damn cell phone or I swear I will murder you!"

...

House exited the elevator and found his best friend in the hallway. Wilson looked utterly terrified.

"You okay?" Clearly Wilson was worrying himself about something, and House feared it had to do with Cuddy.

Wilson's face had lost all it's usual color. His teeth were clamped together, making the line of his jaw sharp. He wore a grim, horrified expression that shone in his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair multiple times before answering.

"No." He choked on the word and turned to look at House.

"Dr. House!" The voice of an older, male doctor acknowledged him. He approached the friends with a hurried gate. "Dr. House, there's some trouble with the girls."

House felt his heart pound harder against the walls of his chest.

"Which - ?"

"The baby, and ..."

"AND?" House was going to strangle the doctor if he heard her name.

" - and Cuddy." The doctor informed him, and seeing House's face decided it was best to continue with the news quickly. "Dr. House, there have been some medical complications due to the premature timing, and," He paused, "Well, all we know now as that we need to immediately perform a cesarean or there could be more serious complications."

House nodded absently, his mind racing, unsure how to verbally respond.

"And House," The doctor spoke with a strict professional tone. "You need to know that -"

House became tense as he cut him off.

"I don't care what you have to do," He shot back. "Nothing is going to happen to Cuddy!"

The doctor didn't offer any other response but rushed off down the hall.

Neither of the men spoke.

House now shared the same grim expression as Wilson.

They stood silently.

With each beat of time, dreading the next announcement they would have to listen to.

**12:00pm**

Wilson sat on the floor of the hallway, his back against the wall, gripping his head.

House was standing - frozen except for the hand that searched his jacket pocket for another Vicodin - beside him.

The elderly doctor was approaching again, from down the hall. His strides were more hesitant than before.

He spoke when he came to a stop in front of House.

"The baby," His voice was low. "She's alive. 2 pounds, 11 ounces." He made a face that showed concern regarding this fact. "However,"

He cleared his throat. "Things aren't looking very good right now."

House felt a current of fear wring through his body in a matter of seconds.

The doctor was oblivious to this shock of pain and moved on.

"The infant's brain was damaged due to lack of oxygen, although it's not clear how much damage this caused. She's very weak, and currently her heart rate is dangerously low. Due to her premature birth, there's a good chance her lungs won't hold out for very long. We have her in the NICU now and will be keeping a very close eye on her. However, we need you to know that there's a good chance she won't make it through the night." The doctor paused, "If we have any more information we'll be sure to tell you, Dr. House."

**9:30pm**

House had been standing outside Cuddy's hospital room, starring through the glass for more than an hour.

Everyone had gone home, but he was there, his eyes remaining on the exhausted Dean of Medicine.

She looked like a small child, asleep under the thin blanket of the hospital bed.

Her face was smudged from streaks of tears, her eyes were closed, and from where House stood he could see the dark circles underneath them.

Her skin was faded, naked of her usual makeup. Her hair fell limply across her cheekbone.

Her body was a fragile silhouette in the pale, moonlit room.

House felt a stab of anguish as he watched her sleeping figure tremble each time she inhaled.

Seeing her lying there, so delicate and helpless, he wanted to be next to her, wrap his arms around her and hold her there until her quivering body was warm and smiling again.

It took him another few minutes to decide to go in.

He slowly pushed the door open.

The cold air in the tiny room made him shiver slightly.

He kept his eyes on her body, afraid to look away.

He quietly made his way to the chair beside her bed.

And he sat there, with no intention of leaving her side.

He sat in the small chair and fell a sleep there, as she once had for him.

**2:13am**

"House?" A gentle, shaking voice rescued him from his scattered nightmares.

His eyelids opened and began to adjust to the dimly lit room.

In the shadows, he saw her eyes looking up at his, vulnerable and wistful, the pain she felt trapped inside the cerulean orbs.

"House?" She pleaded again.

Her voice cracked and by the time he was fully awake he noticed the tears that flooded her face.

She was shivering beneath the blanket, her arms wrapped around herself.

Her eyelids pressed shut, trapping the tears.

Her lip quivered as she tried to speak, but only a meek whimper escaped, releasing the gush of tears.

House couldn't stand it any longer.

He couldn't see her like this, not again.

And so he did just what he had done the first time...

...


	7. Chapter 7

…

He pulled her body to his and wrapped her in his arms until he could feel her warmth again.

She stopped shivering as he held her face in both hands and let her bury herself against his t-shirt.

Her tears were streams that couldn't be stopped, but feeling him near her was enough now.

Suddenly she was back in the past, a place she now longed to return to.

_"It's gona be okay." _

He had whispered on a night very much like the present.

_But she couldn't respond over her sobbing._

That had been over twenty years ago, back when he was still the Greg that took her to college parties, and made her laugh more than cry.

But suddenly, it didn't matter that it was 'House' who was holding her, suddenly the phrase '_people never change' _seemed to hold true. Now he was the same Gregory House she had once fallen in love with, it was almost as though he had never changed.

For a second Cuddy forgot everything around her, it was just herself, House, and the past. Nothing else in the world interrupted her thoughts for a few perfect seconds.

**4:26am**

Cuddy was asleep again, but she was no longer shaking at every breath, instead as she slept her breathing was even and calm.

House was back in the chair, but he couldn't fall asleep. He watched her in the dark, as her body rose and fell with every breath.

Shaking him from his thoughts he heard a familiar beeping.

_No! _

His pager demanded that he leave her room.

Instead of staying here, content to watch Cuddy, he was needed elsewhere...

the NICU.


	8. Chapter 8

...

**4:30am**

House's heart beat faster as the elevator delivered him to the intensive care unit.

He hesitated before escaping the tranquility of the elevator car.

He was met again by the gray haired doctor.

"House." the doctor acknowledged him a low monotone. "The baby. She's weaker." He let the words set the mood of the conversation.

"And she needs an immediate blood transfusion... It has to be your blood."

The doctor continued, as if he was expecting House's answer to be reluctant, "If she doesn't receive the blood - "

House nodded. "Okay." He didn't hesitate to agree.

He wasn't going to let her die because of him.

She was going to live. She had to live.

**5:20am**

House was back in Cuddy's hospital room, after successfully transferring his blood to the premature baby. The last news he had received was that her heart rate was now stable, and she appeared to be stronger, however, still under close supervision in the NICU.

House was exhausted.

But he had finally fallen into a deep sleep in the chair beside Cuddy.

His head was filled with muddled happenings of the past night, his mind unconsciously fearing the events to come.

The nightmare he experienced tossed his weary thoughts into a swirl of terror and confusion...

_He was in the dark hallway of the hospital._

_Approaching in front of him, with a sinister smirk upon his face and eyes that burned like charcoal, was the elderly doctor. He was running now._

_To the right of him was Cuddy, alseep in the tiny bedroom. Silent._

_To his left, the frail infant; captive of the NICU. Silent._

_His head and heart pounded in simultaneous, erratic rhythms. _

_The doctor was now running towards him. _

_"Dead." He repeated. "Dead."_

_To the right of him, he could hear Cuddy awaken. She let out a terrified scream that soon transitioned to a fit of coughing. The thundering cough grew louder, as it echoed off the walls, persisting. _

_To his left he heard the pleading wails of a baby. _

_"Dead." The wrinkly-faced doctor insisted._

_Screaming._

_Coughing._

_Wailing._

_The shadows of the dark night consumed House, pressed against him like brick walls. _

_His legs were paralyzed beneath him._

_He couldn't move. _

_The doctor ran toward him, faster. _

_"Dead!" He was screaming the word now. _

_His teeth shone in the gleam of the moon that reflected from the skylight above._

_"DEAD!" _

_The single threatening word burned in House's ears. _

_He shivered. _

_The impossible darkness became an even thicker haze of black. _

_He heard the frantic, raging spell of coughing to his right._

_She was barely able to breath now as the coughs slapped against her lungs._

_House was frozen to the ground. Unable to run to her. _

_Suddenly he couldn't hear anything from her hospital room. Silent._

_"DEAD!" The doctor stood inches from House's face, a horrifying cackle ripped from his throat. _

_..._

The doctor's last declaration jolted House awake.

"Cuddy!"

She was asleep. Breathing. Alive.

House felt a surge of relief pulse through his body.

But this relief was soon shattered by the spasm of pain that shot through his thigh.

He grabbed at his leg, and stiffly pulled himself from the chair.

**6:07am**

House was leaning against the wall of the hallway, eyes closed, lips drawn in a scowl, as a sharp pain rang through his head and leg.

Suddenly he heard the voice of a younger man near him.

_Kutner!?_

"Um, House?" The doctor, and member of his diagnostics team, spoke beside him.

"What?" House responded, the bitter edge he intended to line the word with was dulled by his sleep coated voice. He kept his eyes shut, didn't move his head.

All three members of his team were standing beside him. Taub answered.

"We just wanted to know if you - "

"- Have a case for us to work on." Thirteen quickly cut Taub off, glaring at him, and inserted a different answer than he had planned on speaking.

"Right." Kutner agreed with her.

Then, noticing that the scowl on House's face remained there, he quickly added, "Yup. 'Kay. Nevermind. Bye."

"Let's go." Kutner whispered to the other two doctors, but they already shared the same agenda and hurried back down the hall.

The trio bumped into Wilson as they made a turn for House's office.

"Wha-" Wilson swerved, trying to balance the paper tray he was holding that contained two hot coffees. He came to a stop, leaning back against the heels of his shoes. He groaned as he looked down at his tie, now splattered with coffee.

"Sorry!" Kutner, Taub, and Thirteen apologized to the oncologist, who, like their boss, appeared to have been awake most of the night.

"Yeah." Wilson smiled sincerely, but he was so tired it was difficult to look convincing.

He walked past them and handed House a coffee. "Hey."

"Hey." House opened his eyes and took the drink gratefully.

"So," Wilson began quietly, before taking a gulp of the beverage that burned his mouth. "Is everything here...erm, okay?" His voice shook slightly as he delivered the last word

House looked down, studying the lid on the paper coffee cup between his hands, "Just dandy." He managed to croak a remark of sarcasm. But there was an absence of humor, and he didn't smile.

There was an awkward silence between the friends.

Wilson took another sip of his coffee, House just starred.

"Things will work out, House." Wilson muttered, "They always do. Things are - " He searched for his usual optimism but the reassuring words sounded forced.

"No." House said in a small voice. He took his eyes of the cup, and brought them to Wilson, "Not for Cuddy."

Wilson stayed silent. House didn't continue.

"What do you mean?" Wilson's voice was quiet.

"If this baby dies," House paused before his voice rose slightly, "It won't be okay. Not for her. Not again..." He let the words fade away, shoved them out of his head.

_Not again..._

The words filled the silence they had left.

_Not again. _

As if in response, his pager beeped for the second time that morning.

**6:26am**

"Her body is very weak. It's giving up." House stood in front of the man who was delivering the words, from outside the NICU.

"Your daughter is - "

The word _daughter _shot a blaze of agonizing pain searing through his body.

House threw himself towards the door of the NICU.

He shoved the glass door of the doctor's entrance aside, ripping the door from the frame that secured it shut, and stammered forward.

His icy blue eyes frantically scanned the numerous incubators.

He thrust his way through the crowded rows and came to an abrupt halt.

_Avery Juliet Cuddy_

_2 lbs. 11 oz._

_Lisa Cuddy and Gregory House_

A small, white rectangular sign stuck to the side of her incubator.

House's eyes peered through the confines at the little infant that lay against the white cloth.

She was no taller than the length of a teddy bear, and not_ that _much heavier, either.

The fragile little baby was turned slightly to the side, her eyelids, not yet strong enough to open, hid the shiny blue eyes behind them.

"Damn it!" House yelled, suddenly, the thundering expletive echoed through the usually serene environment. "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE!"

Wilson rushed to the door, "House, what the hell are you doing!?"

House didn't respond to Wilson's panic-stricken voice, but continued, his eyes glarring down at the small tube inserted in the tiny infant's trachea.

"You think you're gonna get off easy? You think it'll all be fine if you just give up? It's not like that!" He directed his deafening rant to the little girl, "You don't get to be weak!"

Wilson's stood in shock as he watched from the doorway, his eyes wide with confusion, "What the...? House!!"

"YOU DON'T GET THE EASY WAY OUT!" There was a long silence that sent shivers down everyone's spines. Now both Wilson and the doctor were at the door way, behind them, a grouping of nurses pressed to get through.

"What are you doing?!" One of the nurses screamed to House, pushing past the oncologist. "That's your daughter! ...she's dying and you're - "

"She's not dying!" House shot back to the woman without taking his eyes of the baby. He ignored the frantic muttering of the nurses and continued, now talking to the body inside the incubator,"You're life might be one _hell_ of struggle," He spat the words out with force.

No one else in the room spoke. Every set of eyes was watching House, paralyzed with shock, and afraid to interrupt him.

House felt another current of pain strangle the muscles in his thigh, he grabbed at his leg and starred down at it as he continued.

"But your life - " He clenched his thigh harder now as if the words triggered the pain, the looked back down at the tiny baby that so suddenly reminded him of Cuddy, "Your life won't be miserable."

The words were quiet, holding a simple promise that House swore to keep. But he realized that this promise would be nothing but a useless statement if she died.

House stepped away from the incubator and limped his way through the audience of hospital staff he had attracted to the scene.

He shoved himself past the crowd and out of the NICU, followed by Wilson.

"House..."

"She's not going to die." House answered, both to himself and to his friend. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

Wilson held his tongue, afraid anything he said would be followed by a reaction he didn't want to deal with.

So the two walked in silence, with no clear destination, towards the other end of the hall.

...

**Thanks again for reading this! Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated. :) They really help a lot! **

**Also, here's the deal: I'm going to be out of town and without internet for about 2 - 3 weeks, starting tomorrow, AH! Which means I won't be reading or uploading any Fan Fiction for that time. LOL (sort of). So, although I'll probably be writing more, or at least in my head, this story won't be updated for a while. EEK. Yeah, so sorry about that and I hope to continue this story when I get back, it's really been interesting to write and I'm planning a few ideas for what to write next. Yay.**

**THANKS!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes, another chapter before I'm away for 2 weeks! Just thought I'd squeeze it in. But this really is the last one until I come back. Hehe. Enjoy! :) **

...

**8:15am**

Cuddy sat awake, upright in the hospital bed.

She was starring at the blank wall, afraid to look at the door.

She was afraid to see the gray haired doctor approaching to tell her that she should've given up on hope a long time ago, that there was nothing to hope for anymore.

She sat shivering, twisting the sheets of the bed around herself, but even when she was no longer cold she couldn't keep still.

Her heart beat faster every time a figure -walking down the hall - passed through her peripheral vision.

Her breath caught her in throat every time a nurse came in to say "Hi", afraid it was the doctor coming to tell her:

_"She's dead."_

The thought tortured her.

It had for the past 16 hours.

She felt sick.

_Any minute. _She thought. The sick feeling churning in the pit of her stomach.

In the back of her mind she could already hear the nurses muttering _"Time of death..." _

The thought sent her body into another fit of shivers that pricked at her skin.

_Death._

The word was ominously present in her mind.

Her heart beat faster.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure approaching from down the hall.

Cuddy forced her eyes to remove themselves from the wall, but the second she turned them to the door she wished she hadn't.

The pale doctor, wearing the long white lab coat stood in the doorway.

"Dr. Cuddy." He greeted her with a slight, professional nod.

Cuddy couldn't bring herself to say anything in return.

Her fingers tangled together, mindlessly, her teeth pressing down against her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

"Dr. Cuddy," He repeated, filling the room with un-necessary, terrifying suspense for a brief second, "Your daughter is doing much better." The doctor informed her. His eyes, for the first time, seemed kinder, gentler.

Cuddy could feel the fear lift off of her, for the first time in hours she could feel oxygen fill deep within her lungs.

She spoke as she let the air release in a sigh, "Oh." She said. Her face glimmered with the presence of a smile.

"We haven't given her any treatment or transfusions, but yet she's now much stronger than a few hours ago. Although she is still very small, her body doesn't seem as weak as it had been earlier this morning."

Cuddy nodded, hearing what he was saying consumed her with the sense of relief.

It was a pleasant feeling, so different from fear and anxiety. It was refreshing, renewing her hope.

"Her lungs and heart are working at a normal rate now, which is a great improvement. If her body decides to stay like this she should be fine to go home, but it may be a few weeks. This could change though and you should be aware of that. If we see any alteration in her status we'll inform you." With a friendly smile, the doctor turned to leave.

"And, Cuddy," He added, his voice becoming more serious, "You know that even if Avery is strong enough to leave, it's very likely that she'll have some form of physical difference or disability." He paused, "We can't be sure what that is at this age, but it could be anything affecting her sight, hearing, speaking, walking, or gross motor skills. Be prepared for that possibility."

Cuddy nodded. Aware of that fact, but not as concerned with what would be different about her daughter, just glad she was doing better and ... alive!

The doctor continued, "She's a tough little girl, if she makes it through this stage she's going to be very strong."

Cuddy smiled.

"Thank you."

...

**6 Weeks Later**

**12:10pm**

House sat at a table in the hospital cafeteria across from Wilson.

Wilson was munching on a bag of chips, House stealing a few every couple minutes.

"Hey guys."

The men turned, surprised at hearing the familiar voice.

Cuddy was grabbing a chair and joined the two at the edge of their table. "What's up?" She smiled wearily to the both of them, and then directed a slightly bigger smile towards House. He noticed.

"Not much." House smirked, "Jimmy and I are just sitting here, chattin' about the good old days when we lived on the ranch."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow._ What?_

"I have a patient exam in 20 minutes." Wilson announced, taking a sip from a plastic water bottle, "I should go soon."

Cuddy smiled at the oncologist as he cleared his tray, "Talk to you later." He added before leaving the cafeteria.

Cuddy took the plastic chair Wilson had abandoned, and sat across from House.

"I have good news." She stated, a smile forming on her lips.

"If you're about to tell me that Thirteen is Brittany Spears' twin sister and has a double life as a Spanish Pop singer, I already knew that."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. But answered "Avery can come home in two days!"

There was nothing she could do to keep the smile on her face from becoming a full grin.

House paused, "So," He looked down at his hands, "Where is 'home' for her?"

Cuddy drew her eyebrows together, "What do you mean?"

House thought for a minute, choosing his words. "I mean where is she gona live?"

"At my House." Cuddy answered, but it turned out almost in the form of a question.

"Will I..." House watched his finger trace the top of the table in a circle, then brought his eyes up to meet hers, "Get to see her sometimes?"

Cuddy's face reflected a combination of confusion and surprise, but somewhere in her eyes House noticed a tiny glint of happiness. "If you want to..."

"I do." House seemed awkward around the subject, "If you'd want me to help."

"Ok." Cuddy smiled. She searched his clear blue eyes. "Thanks."

"Yeah." House answered quietly, the corners of his mouth twitching up ever so slightly.

...

**2 Days Later**

**9:30am**

Cuddy on her way to departing for maternity leave, feeling thrilled and a tiny part of her, melancholic.

Her life was about to take one wild turn for a whole new chapter, a huge transition from her busy working agenda, to a busy parenting schedule.

She smiled to herself, though, as she sat in the lobby of the hospital she loved so much, she was going to miss it, a lot.

But most of all, during her time off, she was going miss the familiar faces of the doctors and staff she spent every minute of her hectic days around.

She sighed to herself as she realized how different it was going to be.

Then she looked down at the tiny baby in her arms, and smiled.

It was a smile that touched her eyes, the kind House rarely saw, but loved.

"You ready to leave?" House stood behind her.

Cuddy nodded, then turned to face him, flashing a glimpse of that smile.

"Yeah. I am."

...

**Thanks for reading! Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated. :) They really help a lot!**

**I'll be back in about 2 weeks. Happy FanFiction- ing! :) **

**THANKS!! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House MD and in no way profit from writing this fan fic.

**Previously in "Weak By You" Cuddy leaves PPTH - **

_"You ready to leave?" House stood behind her. _

_Cuddy nodded, then turned to face him, flashing a glimpse of that smile._

_"Yeah. I am."_

_... _

The weeks that followed washed over as a wave of events and emotions.

The days were exciting and entirely unscheduled, and as time went on it became a comfortable pattern.

Cuddy spent most all of her time with Avery, and, although she was constantly busy and sleep deprived, for the first few months she was the happiest she'd ever felt.

She was so content now that the memory of those nights, spent in the shadows of the hospital room, fearing for Avery's life, seemed almost distant.

The nightmares that used to reoccur in her mind slowly faded, and by the time Avery learned to walk, and she was back at work, they became happy dreams, unclouded by past experiences.

It was when things started to seem normal, that Cuddy was so suddenly taken aback by the abnormal challenge that entered her life.

...

The hospital clinic was instantly lit up, as the presence of one little girl made everyone smile.

Two-and-a-half year old Avery had just learned to walk, and was now hobbling her way past the nurses' station to meet her mom just a few feet away, by the elevators.

House appeared, exiting an elevator, and watched as the little girl approached.

He limped up to Cuddy and stood beside her.

"When was the last time you took her for a check-up?" He asked immediately.

His voice caught Cuddy by surpirse. She turned to look at him and then back at Avery.

Compared to the excited faces of the nurses, he looked serious. Too serious.

"Um, about six months ago I took her to a pediatrician."

The way he was standing bothered her. His body was stiff, tense, as if he was worried.

"...Why?" She turned around completely to face him.

House didn't answer but continued to stare at the little girl.

Cuddy felt a quick flash of uneasiness wash over her, but she dismissed it.

House was always looking for symptoms in people. Any people.

She assured herself that that was the only reason he seemed so focused on watching Avery.

However, House hesitated to answer, and it made Cuddy second guess whether she was missing something that House saw.

"What is it?" She repeated her question, irritated more than worried.

Cuddy watched House's face closely, but he didn't notice, too deep in thought. It was the way he looked when he was thinking about his patients, right before he realized something pivotal.

She realized, a second late, that nurse Brenda was holding a sniffling Avery in front of her.

"Oh!" Cuddy took Avery from the woman gratefully, wiping a few tears from the little girl's face.

"She tripped." Brenda told her with a small smile, "She's not hurt. Just a little scared."

Cuddy felt guilty that she hadn't noticed, but wrapped her arms around her daughter and set her on her hip.

"House?"

He set his jaw in a hard line, leaned against his cane. "Can I see her for a sec?" He asked suddenly.

"Huh - ?"

House put all his weight against the cane, and with his free arm he gently unwrapped Avery from around Cuddy's waist.

Cuddy and Brenda watched intently, curious, as he sat the little blue eyed, brown-haired, toddler on top of the nurse's station desk.

"Kick my hand, 'kay?" House put his hand, palm facing away from himself, in front of the little girl's left leg.

She stuck her lower leg out to tap his hand. He brought it closer to her leg, pressing it towards her.

"Push." He instructed.

She did her best to push his hand away with her leg.

He did the same thing with her right leg.

Then he tapped his hand just below her left knee cap.

Her leg kicked out, jabbing the air instantly. A quick reflex.

The same cause and effect occurred with her right leg.

House nodded slowly.

"Good job." He finally announced.

Avery sniffled, still recovering from her little tumble before.

House smiled, eying the jar of colored lollipops next to where Avery was seated.

He reached his hand into it and pulled out a red one.

"Here." He added. He slipped the wrapper off and held the candy out for Avery. She took it in her tiny hands, a smile playing on her face.

House picked her up off the counter and handed her back to a confused, but smiling Cuddy.

"What was that for?"

House shook his head. "Nothing."

She eyed him suspiciously.

"Just checking something." He amended.

"Checking for what?"

"You might want to get her to a physical therapist."

Her smile turned to a frown.

"What?" Cuddy demanded. "Why?" She was annoyed. He wasn't making sense.

"Because."

"Because?" Cuddy echoed. "House! Make sense!" She pleaded.

"Just do it, Cuddy." House exhaled. "_Because."_

...

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are really helpful. Yay! I'm back from my trip, however the next week is pretty busy so I'll do my best to keep up more regular updates as best I can. I hope you're enjoying the story so far :) Thanks.**


	11. Chapter 11

Previously in "Weak By You" – _**The nightmares that used to reoccur in her mind **__slowly faded, and by the time Avery learned to walk, and she was back at work, they became happy dreams, unclouded by past experiences. It was when things started to seem normal, that Cuddy was so suddenly taken aback by the abnormal challenge that entered her life._

...

**From the end of Chapter 10 - **

_"You might want to get her to a physical therapist."_

_Her smile turned to a frown. _

_"What?" Cuddy demanded. "Why?" She was annoyed. He wasn't making sense._

_"Because."_

_"Because?" Cuddy echoed. "House! Make sense!" She pleaded. _

_"Just do it, Cuddy." House exhaled. "Because."_

Cuddy thought about his request for a long moment before taking a deep breath.

"No." she finally protested, "I don't need you telling me what to do, House. Whatever it is that you think is wrong with Avery, forget it. Go use that energy on your patient."

She turned around slowly, putting her back to him.

"I can handle her on my own." She pressed the call button outside the elevators, hesitantly. "Just like I've done for the last two years. _Without your help._"

Cuddy bit her lip. The second she said the words she wished she hadn't. It wasn't the truth. The past two years House had been... really, _helpful._

Admittedly - to herself - he was a reason her life was on the right track now.

He was the reason she hadn't gone completely insane the last two years.

Although she now swore to never have been happier since having Avery, _at first _things didn't seem happy at all.

She still remembered the very first nights, back at her house.

Following her stay at the hospital she'd been unable to sleep, terrorized by nightmares.

And things only became worse before they finally became much better.

She owed a lot of her happiness now to how House had helped her when she had struggled then.

So, she knew that saying she had done everything without help was a big, fat lie.

She spun around to face him, just in time to see the flash of pain that slapped like the tail of a whip across his face.

He tried to cover up the sting her words had delivered. Adjusting his face so that it was suddenly hard, expressionless.

Her eyes found his, regretting what she said instantly.

She searched for the words to justify her lie, but came up empty.

She left the silence to continue, waiting for her uneven heart beat to slow.

_Ding! _

The elevator announced its arrival.

Cuddy stood between House and the open elevator doors.

Behind her was an escape route, in front of her she owed House an apology, and he owed her an explanation.

"Okay," She finally spoke. Her voice was low. She inhaled. "Why do I need to take her to a physical therapist? Just tell me _why_." Her plea was followed by an exasperated sigh.

All of a sudden, it made sense. Suddenly she _knew _why. She knew what House had seen, and she had a sick feeling she knew what House was about to diagnose, what he was about to tell her.

House looked into her eyes, taking in her expression carefully.

For a brief moment the hard expression on his face faded, but it soon returned.

House starred down at the bottom of his cane.

"Cuddy, - "

The elevator doors clattered to a close.

House's head shot up, but Cuddy was still there.

"I know." She stopped him from continuing. "You don't have to tell me. I already know."

"You kn- ?"

Cuddy exhaled. It made sense now.

"She learned to walk at a slower rate, has increased tone in her muscles, which means quick reflexes, the occasional tremor in her legs... and she walks on her toes... it seemed so minor that I barely noticed at all, but together ... now..."

The silence throbbed like a permanent echo.

"Spastic Cerebral Palsy." House muttered.

He watched Cuddy's troubled face as she looked over at the little girl that clung to her hip. "...She's not even three yet, it's still hard to - " She gave up.

"Take her to a physical therapist."

Her heartbeat sputtered as he repeated his advice, again.

She inhaled, her breath shaking. "... Yeah."

"Because she was born early - "

"House," Her voice cut him off.

He took it has a warning to drop the subject, but he had misinterpreted.

When he brought his eyes away from the ground, they met hers.

"Thanks." She mumbled, "For ... the last two years, but for - "

She laughed, but her smile was forced, behind it House saw her eyes, clouded and dulled. " - You know. ... All that other stuff too."

With a deep sigh she turned around and walked away from him.

The stairway suddenly seemed more inviting than the enclosed elevator shaft.

...

House starred after her, watching the little girl attached to Cuddy's hip, sucking happily on the red lollipop, so oblivious to the conversation that had just taken place.

Yet she was so much a part of it all. It was her life, her future.

With a shudder the promise he had sworn to keep, almost three years ago, came back to him, word-for-word.

_"You're life might be one hell of struggle," _

He remembered angrily forcing the words to echo inside the serene incubator.

_"But your life - " _He remembered the pain that had shot through his leg, as if on cue.

_"You're life won't be miserable." _

His promise to Avery, that he was now obligated to keep, clung to his conscious mind and refused to be thrown aside.

_Miserable. _It was a word he felt all too familiar with.

...

**Thanks so much, as always, for reading this! Reviews are really helpful. I hope you enjoyed it. **:)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - _Losing It _

...

Cuddy stood in her now darkened office, the glow of the security light outside casting eerie shadows against the wooden door.

The fingers of her left hand still lingered on the tiny white electrical switch against the wall. Her opposite hand curled around the sticky fingers of the toddler at her side.

"Let's go." She looked down at Avery's round little face as the child yawned, her eyelids becoming heaving.

Cuddy smiled and bent to her knee to lift her daughter off the ground.

The blue-eyed little girl, settled sleepily against the curve of her mother's hip.

Cuddy stood there, her arm fastened around Avery's body, held her tight. She exhaled, releasing the stress of the day in a sigh.

**One of these times it felt like things would catch up to her, and she'd completely lose it, but for now keeping up the tough-act was working out okay.**

Her free arm found her coat and she pulled it from the stand. She folded it to her chest before opening the door to leave.

Her high-heels clicked slowly along the linoleum floor, finding their way through the familiar corridor, lit up with florescent bulbs.

She passed the confined hospital rooms on her way to the exit, and cringed, the memory of last June haunting her still. She felt sick. The thought of how her daughter very nearly had not lived through those nights was almost too much for her to bear right now.

Instinctively, in attempts to escape the horrid memories, she picked up the pace.

She was now speed walking, the vacant hallway around her becoming a blur of pastel colors.

Now that all the hectic events of this terrible day were behind her, she was more than eager to leave the hospital. She wasn't quite sure what it was that lead her to define the day as _terrible. _Maybe it was the fact that the possibility of Avery having Cerebral Palsy had now become a complete reality. But, however difficult that fact was to deal with, it was something she had, at least, been unconsciously expecting.

However, that wasn't the only unpleasant event that had nagged her that day.

The hospital was forced to detract 100,000 dollars from its budget in order to assist in repairing the MRI machine House had broken days before. And Cuddy was attacked with financial reports and paperwork to fill out.

The clinic was packed that day due to the risk of a Meningitis outbreak at the mall, which left the already anxious Dean to deal with the swarm of cranky families.

Of course, this happened to be the very day Avery's daycare had been closed for repairs, but with the busy clinic to attend to, Cuddy was forced to give Avery to Wilson for a few hours.

That hadn't been the best decision.

House had, not too much to her surprise, been with Wilson during that time, which meant Avery spent most of the day with House too.

That wouldn't have been bad at all, except for the fact that House had just gotten a new laptop and was feeling the need to break it in at every given moment.

Oh _great_, now her two-year-old daughter would be quite familiar with the concept of online porn.

This had not been a good day at all.

Cuddy hurried past the sliding automatic doors that seemed to move too slowly.

Once outside the building Cuddy felt some of the tension, that had built up inside of her throughout the day, decrease.

She felt the sudden rush of cold wind sting her face and held Avery tighter. Goose-bumps rose on her arms and she wished for a moment that she had taken the time to put on her coat.

Then she was in her car, and Avery was in the back, safely buckled into her car seat.

Almost instantly the insane, complicated, bullying world disappeared, and all she could hear was the muted sound of the radio in the background and the engine accelerating, pulsing.

She was only vaguely aware of the fact that her left foot on the gas pedal began to inch forward, push harder, and then the car shot out, speeding down the little street.

The wind came from a window she didn't remember rolling down. It hit her with such an impact that it took a few seconds for her to remember how to exhale. The air felt like hard blocks of ice as it continued to whip at her cheeks, but there was a comforting feeling of freedom as her hair was suddenly flying across her face.

A sound escaped her lips, a noise that seemed distant, but familiar.

Laughter.

She laughed aloud as the car roared through the quiet, dark night, the engine purring with excitement.

The laughter didn't cease, she kept on laughing until her lungs burned for air, until her stomach hurt, and until tears stung her eyes.

She lifted her foot up from the gas pedal, so now only the tip of her shoe was touching, and let the car return to its usual speed.

Her breathing was fast, her heart pounding against her chest.

Her eyes scanned the rear-view mirror. She smiled at her daughter, asleep behind her.

Then, suddenly, the tears that had come from her craze of laughter turned into sobs.

Before she had time to comprehend that this new sound wasn't laughter, her face was flushed hot and red and stung with the salt tears that stuck to her cheeks.

Cuddy gasped, a strange sound that came between her strangled cries. The tears had dried, but there was a new lump in her throat that didn't seem to want to disappear. Her head was throbbing with her beating heart.

With shaking hands, she turned the steering wheel and pulled the car against the curb in front of her house.

She took a deep, uneven breath and then let it out; half expected the tears to come back. But whatever had brought on the sudden outburst of sobbing, it seemed to be gone now.

She brought her hands up to her head and let it fall into them, her eyelids surrendering against the urge to stay open.

She let the blackness, the nothingness consume her, forgetting for a moment who she was, where she was, and the long list of reasons in the back of her mind; The list that reminded her why her life was becoming more and more complicated.

She let that all disappear for a few fleeting seconds. Then she opened her wet eyes, wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, and got out of the car.

...

**Thanks for reading this! Well, as always reviews help so much, if you have free time, please review! THANKS A TON. :) **

**Also, I meant to say this last chapter but - In the next chapters I'll be writing a little bit more about what having Cerebral Palsy means for Avery (and what it means in general) and how this physical disability affects her. The medical aspects of her character are based on the fact that I have CP too, so whatever ends up being the situation for her is basically what I have. I'll try my best to make it interesting though, I promise! And there will still be plenty of Huddy-greatness coming up! :) Hooray.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**House MD**_**. No copyright infringement intended. **

**Pairing: Huddy! :) **

**Chapter 13. **_**Drowning.**_

That night Cuddy lay in bed, completely awake even after the exhausting day.

Though her bedroom was dark like the night outside, it felt as if someone was shining a bright searchlight right into her window.

As she lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling she thought about everything that complicated her life. ...Especially her job.

But she realized how simple her career seemed in comparison to everything else at the moment. When it came to her job, everything made sense. She had always known what path she wanted to take and where she wanted to go with her education ever since she was in middle school.

However, she had learned that some things in life aren't always easy to control, and not always simple to achieve.

Once you get what you want, things change. Things change that are completely out of your control.

And things _had _changed. Ever since she was pregnant with Avery all of a sudden everything hit her like a freight train crashing into a stalled car.

It wasn't like medicine, it wasn't like a lumbar puncture and antibiotics would figure things out in life. There would always be things that didn't make sense. That would never make sense.

...

Cuddy finally fell asleep to the sound of raindrops rushing against the roof of her house and pelting against the glass of the windows.

But it was a sleep filled with nightmares. One nightmare in particular...

_Salt burned inside her lungs, like a fire blazing within her chest. _

_The blue-green water of an ocean held her captive, thrashing and swirling around her exhausted body._

_She was deep within the dark water, below the surface that was becoming angry waves above her. _

_Her legs kicked beneath her. She slapped her arms through the heavy pull of the furious tides. _

_Her heart pounded inside her head like a rhythm from a broken metronome. _

_Thud-umph. Thud. Thud-umph._

_The water was ice cold, freezing her muscles so they were tight, burning like everything else inside of her. _

_She took a sharp breath inward. The water filed her mouth, bit her throat. _

_She felt it pool inside of her lungs. _

_She tried to reach for the blackness above her, but there was no light to guide her. There was no 'up' to follow. _

_She couldn't move. She couldn't fight it._

_Her eyes shut. The images of darkness became darker. She was giving up._

_Slowly, the beat of her heart began to fade. _

_She heard the water. The sloshing waves around her. _

_She let her arms fall to her sides. Her legs stopped trying to kick. Frozen beneath her._

_Then the waves disappeared. The water became calm. _

_She squeezed her eyes tighter. Pressed her lips together with the last ounce of strength she had left. _

_Then she was slipping._

_Falling._

_Falling deeper into the ocean._

_She felt the rush of the cold water against her skin as she waited to hit the bottom, the end._

_But nothing came. More falling. Her heart accelerated. Faster and faster. _

_It never seemed to end..._

She ripped open her eyes, threw herself up, stuck inside the tangled mess of bed sheets around her.

Her heart pounded, her face stung with heat as she untangled the sheets.

She remembered the dream, the drowning... the falling.

But it wasn't the first time she'd had that dream though, and that's what scared her the most. It was always the same. No matter how many times the dream had reoccurred it always followed the same pattern.

It wasn't the drowning that terrified her, but the falling. The never ending falling. Because, she realized, she understood, that it would _never_ end.

She would always be trying to fight it, but in the end she would always have no choice but to give up.

_Give up. _

It didn't seem fair. It was how everything seemed to come to a close. Giving up. The end. Things stop when you give up.

So many things worked that way. No matter how many unsuccessful attempts there are in life, if there's never success, then there's a time when you give up.

But sometimes, by chance, by perseverance, or by _luck _there's a time when it works out.

Like with Avery.

Things weren't perfect, but they definitely weren't horrible either. She wouldn't have to give up. She wouldn't have to surrender. To fall.

She dropped back against the mattress, letting her head rest against the cool pillow.

And though it was in the strangest of ways, Cuddy knew that even the things in life that she had no control over, sometimes those things worked out too.

She went back to sleep that night, but it was a peaceful, numb kind of sleep.

There was no drowning. There was no giving up. Her dream filled mind was only partially aware of the quiet drumming of rain against her window.

And she dreamt of that night when House told her wanted to be the donor. The night when everything had turned around and she couldn't tell if it was for the better. But now she knew the answer to that question.

She dreamt of the nights of last June, in the shadow-filled hospital rooms. But she wasn't afraid, like she had been then. Because now there was nothing to be afraid of. Someone was there with her, and though she never saw his face, she imagined who it was.

As the dream began to fade, she heard the words she needed someone, anyone to promise. And for the first time she could actually listen to those words, she could finally believe in them.

_"It's gona be okay."_

And it was. She believed it. Despite everything else that was so harsh and unpredictable in life.

...

Cuddy opened her eyes, now to see the streamers of sun that fluttered through her window, sparkling through the left over drops of rain.

She mouthed the words that had brought her dream to a conclusion. Saying them aloud in her head.

And then she got up.

She slipped out of the bed with what was as close to a 'jump' as she could manage at the moment.

Because today she had a schedule to stick to, and it was going to be a very important morning.

...

**Thank you so much for still reading!** **Sorry it took me a while to get this chapter up. Reviews are always appreciated!**


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